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January 2, 2011 / Maleesha Kovnesky

Box of Strange

I have written extensively about the tiki head.

This year I got a big box of gifts from Carli.  I didn’t open it until yesterday, assuming that everything inside was for my kids, and they aren’t home at the moment.  Yet I found some goodies for myself, much to my surprise!  Who doesn’t like finding a gift after Christmas?  It’s reminiscent of finding a $10 bill in your winter coat pocket the first time you put it on in November (or September if you live in Montana).  The most mysterious package was almost missed and thrown out with the bubble wrap:

strange, small item

I thought maybe Carli had finally cracked up, and sent me a stick of gum or something.  Even more strange was the “From.”  “From the Hoaglan bathroom.”  I’m not sure I need anything from the Hoaglan bathroom, thanks, but apparently the Hoaglans think otherwise.  I decided to open that one last, just incase it was scary.

books about old tyme remedies

I am never one to turn down a book, and this cute little set of three will teach me everything I need to know about pH balance in my kitchen.  There are over 100 tips and tricks in each of these books.  Right now I use vinegar in marinades and to clean my coffee pot.  I use baking soda with lemon juice to make fluffier pancakes.  I use salt to raise people’s blood pressure.  I am really looking forward to learning so much more.

is it bacon? is it popcorn? It's...

This is bacon flavored microwave popcorn.  Carli and I love to laugh about bacon laden items.  Don’t get me wrong…I love bacon.  I also love popcorn.  I hate microwave popcorn though, and I am not a fan of bacon combined with anything other than eggs and pancakes.  I have a perfect friend who I am going to regift this bad box of bitchin’ bacon to, though.  Carli don’t be offended but he will eat it and it will just take up space in my kitchen.  Look though, I put it in my blog and got a really good laugh, and truly isn’t that what the best gifts are about?  Kyle – look for your bacon pop on Tuesday.  I will leave it on your desk.



the t-shirt of envy at every group of writers

Here is the best item from the Box of Strange.  It is a simple grey T-shirt that says…well, you can see what it says.  I have always wanted to have one of these, but it’s not the kind of shirt you should buy for yourself.  At every writer’s conference or nerd grouping that I attend, one or two people will haughtily wear a shirt like this.  I always had a little bit of t-shirt envy.  But envy no more, as the T-shirt is mine!  I promise that I will never eat nacho cheese or drink cranberry juice while wearing this shirt.  I want it to be utterly haughty when I break it out at the next PPWC.

So I finally opened the small, mysterious package.

Not my hairclip.

The little package contained a used hairclip.  I stayed overnight at the House of Hoaglan a couple of times this fall when I was near Seattle.  I can only assume they found this mysterious hairclip on their bathroom floor shortly after my stay, and figured I had lost it.  “Let’s send it to her for Christmas,” they thought.  “It will be funny!”  Well it IS FUNNY because it’s not mine!  I can’t use those kind, they fall out of my straight slippery hair!  I need the kind with pop out clips.  Every jury in the nation will agree with me.

If the clip doesn’t fit, you must acquit!

Thanks for the package Hoaglans.  It’s a joy every time Carli puts a Box of Strange together.




Leave a Comment
  1. Allison / Jan 2 2011 9:00 pm

    I’m jealous. A) You’ve been to a nerd grouping. B) I love that shirt.

    What is it with the rising popularity of bacon? I noticed several bacon-related items on recently. Bacon gum comes to mind. Ew yuck!

    I have seen the bacon gum too, and bacon mints…GROSS.

  2. territerri / Jan 2 2011 4:41 pm

    Now I want a box of strange! Better yet, I want to GIVE a box of strange! So many candidates, so little time. Thanks for the idea!

    We shouldn’t confine it just to Christmas anyway. Box of Stranges are best all year round!~

  3. Ignorethebucklesonmyjacket / Jan 2 2011 1:08 pm

    Ew. For the popcorn. I love to make a shirt letting someone know that they are actually a character in something that I have written.

    Like microwaved popcorn doesn’t have enough issues already. Add bacon! As for the shirt…they should already know. MWAHAHAHAHAH

That's what she said!

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