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June 14, 2009 / Maleesha Kovnesky

Bitten

I’m sorry to report that this may be my last post.  For I have so many mosquito bites that there is no possible way that I am not going to die of West Nile by Wednesday.  The nasty mosquitoes are out in swarms out at the gardens.  It seems a bit early for them, but I don’t recall exactly when they came out last year.

I hate DEET.  I don’t care for sprays or aerosols or spritzes in general, but there is something so repulsive and awful about DEET that I don’t even consider using it.  This weekend I used some citronella junk called “Natrepel”…I think the “Nat” was supposed to signify that it was “natural”…but all it did was leave me a mosquito bitten carcass that smelled lemony-riffic.  If I do survive to get bitten again, I am going to reconsider my personal ban on DEET.

***

We moved into the new place this weekend.  This is the third move in a little over a year.  I will be happy if I don’t have to see another U-Haul for several moons.  The new house is pretty fantastic.  I wish it was mine.  There are a few strange things about it, of course.  I bathed the children last night, and for five minutes I was terrified that there was no hot water.  It turned out that on the upper level, all of the faucets are crisscrossed, so if you want hot water you turn to the “C”.  Caliente.  I need a word for “cold” that starts with an “H.”  It does not have to be Spanish.

***

I am re-reading Nora Ephron’s “I Feel Bad About My Neck.”  This book makes me incredibly happy.  However it also makes me feel bad about not being born incredibly rich.  Most of the time I could not be more relieved about not having millions of dollars.  I truly do believe simpler is better.  Mo’ money, mo’ problems.  In the book, Ephron goes on and on with truly wise and wonderful observations about life.  But she does so from the lofty view of a New York City apartment, lucrative job writing movies, books, and magazines, and with the clout of someone who was around to work in the JFK White House.  The book resonates with nearly every woman I know who has read it.  You just have to look past some of the parts that involve money. 

***

Nearly everyone has pondered the “why” of mosquitoes.  There does not seem to be any purpose for them other than to fill the biblical role of pestilence.  Do you know what would be great?  If scientists could come up with some mosquito derivative that cured cancer.  The scientists would get a large government grant to build giant mosquito sucking vacuums (silent ones, so as not to interrupt us during dinner) that flew around, systematically slurping the mosquitoes and delivering them to the research lab that would then blend their evil little bodies into a gel that people could brush their teeth with, and it would eliminate cancer.  It would come in either mint or cinnamon. 

***

Clearly I need some sleep.  Good night.

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5 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. MamaPeg is Watching Out for You / Jun 21 2009 1:38 pm

    I had a variation on crisitunity’s suggestion – heckacold

  2. Carli / Jun 18 2009 12:15 pm

    How funny….I just read that book on my flight to Seattle last month. I laughed out loud the entire time. Must have totally ticked off the passengers around me. How bout “hyper-icy”

  3. glassowater / Jun 15 2009 9:07 pm

    Mosquitoes, those I understand….it’s wasps and hornets that I don’t get…far as I can tell, they live just to terrorize me and being allergic doesn’t help with my opinion of them….

  4. morethananelectrician / Jun 15 2009 6:42 pm

    The noises of our local frog population can be unbearable at time, but they do love to eat those little blood sucking beasts. So I tolerate them.

  5. crisitunity / Jun 15 2009 6:31 am

    I couldn’t do without bug spray, DEET or no DEET, I don’t care as long as it keeps the mosquitoes away. The only reason for them I can think of is as food for spiders, but there are so many other bugs for that purpose that I think we should be able to do without them.

    “H”ella cold?

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