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May 20, 2009 / Maleesha Kovnesky

A Biscuit by Any Other Name

Sometimes the only food for miles just happens to be a McDonalds.  That’s how it was this morning when I found myself in a drive through.  Drive throughs rarely fail to provide blog fodder, and today was no exception. 

I looked at the clock.  Ten-forty five.  Maybe they will take pity on me, and serve me lunch.  There is nothing worse than drive through breakfasts.  No matter how 100% they claim to be, I will NEVER believe that the eggs are real. 

ME:  “Can I get a chicken sandwich?”

BOX:  “Sorry, not for another fifteen minutes.”

ME:  “Okay…can I get a Chicken Biscuit then?”

BOX:  “What number?”

ME:  “No number.  Just a chicken biscuit.  Your ‘Southern Chicken Biscuit,’ please.”

BOX:  “No, we can’t do that.  We are actually out of biscuits, since it’s so close to lunch.”

ME:  “Can I get it on a bun?”

BOX:  “Hold on.”  (shuffling)  “Yeah, we can put it on a bun.”

ME:  “Can I get a pickle on it?”

BOX:  “What?”

ME:  “A pickle?  Can I get a pickle on it?”

BOX:  “Just one?”

ME:  “Between one and four.”

BOX:  (shuffling)  “Yeah, ok, one chicken biscuit on a bun, pickle, I’ll have your total at the window.”

So there you go.  I got my chicken sandwich after all.  And the National Moron Counter is still clicking up, up, up.

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9 Comments

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  1. Scott / May 24 2009 4:52 am

    That’s hilarious! When I was a kid, my mom cooked delicious meals, and I snubbed them. Brainwashed by “Ronald”, and the “Marvelous, Magical Burger King”, I wanted that, instead. I was especially envious of my older sister, Elaine, when she got her first job, and was able to eat at McDonald’s all the time.

    What was I thinking? Or was I thinking, at all? Now I despise fast food–it’s garbage! I don’t eat it, unless I absolutely have to–which is very rare! And the meals my mom made–I eat those, at real restaurants, as often as possible! The rest of the time, I eat Lean Cuisines, and gourmet cheese on crackers–since I’ve never liked to cook. And if I could afford to hire one, I’d have a personal chef–to cook the same meals my mom cooked for me!
    “Too bad youth is wasted on the young!”

    It IS garbage. Possibly WORSE than garbage, as I found a nice shelf in the trash once so I view garbage as potentially useful, as fast food is a really slow form of suicide. Alas, it’s our primary source of travel food when the granola bars start to get boring…

  2. Christine / May 22 2009 8:46 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! Between 1 & 4 😆

  3. Rambleicious / May 22 2009 8:52 am

    Drive-through places are nearly always manned by people who are hung over and hate their life.

    Was it at least a good chicken sandwich?

  4. Pammy / May 22 2009 8:04 am

    And I thought I held the market on interactions with morons.

  5. bluesuit12 / May 21 2009 6:05 pm

    Lame drive thru people. I’m a little surprised because lunch out here starts at 10:30. Well it did in Utah anyway, don’t know about AZ.

  6. Marinkina / May 21 2009 12:46 pm

    Да,aleks,побороть лень, действительно иногда очень сложно..

  7. morethananelectrician / May 20 2009 7:47 pm

    Did you save $$$ too?

  8. MamaPeg is Watching Out for You / May 20 2009 4:21 pm

    I’m still amazed at the stupidity of situations like this one. I don’t know why I’m still amazed. Perhaps I am waiting for a medical breakthrough that will heal stupid.

  9. megan / May 20 2009 10:24 am

    That is definitely the best story I’ve heard all day! I’ll have to remember that… Way to outsmart the drive-thru!

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