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January 22, 2009 / Maleesha Kovnesky

He Asked…I Answered…

Thank goodness for MTAE and his mini-interview…I have another post this week!  Here are five questions that he came up with for me to answer honestly.  Here goes!

1.   Can you dispel one stereotype of the people who live in your region of the country?

There are stereotypes about this region?  Are you kidding me?  Ha!  Sure.  I can think of plenty of things I’ve heard about people who live in MT/WY/ID/ND over the years.  We DO have electricity, though some choose not to.  I guess it is hard to dispel stereotypes because stereotypes are there for a reason.  For example…you may have heard that there are crazy militia type groups who live in Idaho and Montana and refuse to pay taxes and make their own laws.  That’s true.  But it’s a small, small group of people.  Just like not everyone who lives in Utah has six wives, and not everyone in California has had plastic surgery, and not everyone from the DC area is an arrogant political ladder-climber.  I guess I would like to dispel the stereotype about the people doin’ the deed with their sheep.  In my two decades of living in Montana, I can say I have never witnessed anyone doin’ a sheep, or another type of farm animal.  I imagine that might happen, but if it happens here, it happens where you live too.  ‘Cause there are sheep everywhere.  So let’s put an end to that stereotype. 

2.   If you could sit and talk with one living author for an hour, who would it be and why?

My gut reaction is to say Stephen King.  He is not my favorite author but I think we can all agree that it would be fun.  I would love to get inside that head and see what is rolling around in there.  I also want to ask him if he has a tattoo of Pennywise.  If not, he should.

I think in reality I would like to talk with Anne Lamott.  She writes a lot of inspirational stuff in a funny manner that makes me laugh until it hurts.  She’s had a lot of rough days behind her and turned them all into books that help other people.  Plus she has dreadlocks and I want to see if they are greasy up close.  She’s an aging hippie and I love her writing.  I would want to talk to her but I can’t think of what I would say.  I’d say “Hey” and I think she would offer me some coffee or tea and then I’d be all “Sure, coffee” and she’d be like “I’m out of sugar” and I’d say “Oh I don’t use sugar” and she’d say “Me either” and the conversation would just go from there.  And the hour would be over before I knew it.
3.   In your house, who wins the usual battle of the thermostat?  Or isn’t there a fight?

No one has actually won this one yet…it’s an ongoing battle.  I imagine it will be something like the Hundred Years War in terms of length.  We don’t talk about the temperature.  We just change it without asking.  I like it warm and he likes it chilly.  So every time one of us walks by the thermostat, we flip it in our preferred direction.  I think between the constant cold and hot changes, the temperature stays a balmy 70 on average.  We also behave this way with television and radio station volume.  I like it quiet and he likes it loud. 
4.   If you were forced to get rid of one major piece of technology in your life, what would it be?

Forced.  Wow.  I’m shaking at the thought of getting rid of any technology.  That makes me very anxious.  Is TV a technology?  I could live the rest of my life without TV.  But if we are talking gadgets, I am going to have a hard time.  My IPod is expendable.  I could live without my satellite radio (but I wouldn’t like it…in Montana you need satellite radio or you are going to lose the station moments after getting onto the road).  But don’t think about touching my laptop or my blackberry. 
5.   Name one popular singer or band, that, if you hear on the radio, you HAVE TO get up and either change the channel or turn off the radio.

Just one?  I will try, but I once you get me on a subject, forget it.  I can ramble for paragraphs.  First of all Celine Dion MUST BE STOPPED.  She has a technically amazing voice, sure.  But I cannot tolerate her songs for a nanosecond.  Any longer and I break out into hives.  Every time I hear her sing I see her sing…that stretched out throat and comical facial expressions…she reminds me of some fantastical bird flashing her feathers during mating season. 

I also cannot listen to 311.  I used to really like them.  But now I have to change the channel immediately.  Nothing personal.  I think their sound makes me nervous.

In the end it depends on my mood.  Country songs usually make me cry and that is an effing driving hazard, so if I am having a bad day, then I like to hear some serious ripping rock.  If I am feeling maternal and protective of children and flowers, I turn off the rock and listen to the music provided by NPR.  If I am feeling the need to bomb other nations, I put it back on the rock and when all else fails I pop a Radiohead CD in. 

But in no case or situation will you ever hear a boy band in my vicinity.

***************

Thanks MTAE for the interview.  I hope that you avoid the lesbian couple who wants you to father their child.  That’s got to be a lot of pressure.  And does your wife know about this request?

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7 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. teeni / Jan 25 2009 10:43 am

    Wow – great answers. I enjoyed reading this. I also loved your post about the cheesecake stalker. That had to be uncomfortable. I was squirming just reading it. I’m glad you answered him the way you did or you would have been hounded continually.

  2. smalltownsmalltimes / Jan 24 2009 3:01 pm

    I love Anne Lamott and I hate celine Dion. I knew I liked you.

  3. Carli / Jan 23 2009 2:03 pm

    Not exactly a stereotype per se but since moving to Texas, you have NO idea how many people have said to me, “Montana…there’s no speed limit there right??” It’s been almost ten years since the days of free road reign…get with the program people!!!
    For the record, as a Montana native, there was a brief 3 year time period where Montana’s speed limit was “reasonable and prudent.” It was absolutely delightful. However…as of May 28, 1999 we have had an established speed limit of 75 mph. I repeat, we have had an established speed limit since 1999. It is now 2009. TEN YEARS. Ok…I feel better now.

  4. Romi / Jan 23 2009 2:03 pm

    Thank you SO much for shunning the wrongness that is Celine Dion; she’s the second-most embarrassing thing about being Canadian; closely followed by Pamela Anderson…ugh…

  5. Taoist Biker / Jan 23 2009 1:38 pm

    From my experience, the battle of the thermostat will be over sometime within the month after menopause, when suddenly you’re saying nightly “Damn, get your foot off my foot, you’re making me sweat!!!”

  6. curlywurlygurly / Jan 23 2009 5:49 am

    great questions and answers! i have to add that i went to see stephen king (and j.k. rowling and john irving) at radio city a few summers ago. they each did readings and then answered questions. sk was really terrific!

    as for question #1, i’d like to say for the record that here in new jersey we don’t all talk like the people on the sopranos. i don’t say “caw-fee” (for coffee) or “joisey” for jersey. nor is my family ‘connected’.

  7. morethananelectrician / Jan 23 2009 5:00 am

    You are welcome for the interview.

    My wife has met the couple at company holiday functions, she also knows about the whole situation…she may not knwo about the blog, but i keep her briefed on everything else.

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