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September 25, 2008 / Maleesha Kovnesky

If You Want to Destroy My Sweater….

…hold this thread as I walk away.

Please try to contain your boredom because the following post is all about my sweater collection.  Maybe one day, if you are really lucky, I will cover my coffee cup collection which is even more awesome.

I love pumpkins, apple cider, and falling leaves.  I like crisp air, frost on the grass, and Thanksgiving.  But what I really, really like about Autumn is the fact that I can wear one of my b’zillions of sweaters.  I have a lot of sweaters.  I can’t bring myself to throw any of them away, either, so the pile gets larger and larger. 

I don’t like the name “sweater.”  It implies that it makes you sweat, which really it only does if you wear them in July or forget to put on some antiperspirant.  I never do the latter.  Some people have nightmares where they go to school/work and forget to put on pants.  I have nightmares where I forget to wear antiperspirant. 

I also don’t like wool sweaters.  They really itch my skin.  That, and I am laundry-capped.  I can never remember to NOT dry the wool sweaters.  They come out of the dryer looking like a three year old should wear them.  Once I fell in love with a wool sweater.  It was a deep wine color, and it wasn’t too short or too long.  I washed it, it shrunk to Cabbage-patch size, I tried to stretch it out but alas; putting on a wool sweater after it’s been shrunk makes you look like you are wearing clothes made of Silly Putty. 

So even though sweaters have all of these strikes against them, I still love them and look forward to the fall season every year.  Here are some sweaters that you might see me wearing this year.  None of them are new; it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to go shopping.  So if you know me in person you have definitely seen these before (except for one…):

Here is a sweater I have had for ten years.  It’s an Eddie Bauer sweater that I got at an outlet shop.  I think it is supposed to be a man-sweater, but I was on a deep blue clothing kick and all the women’s sweaters at the time stopped somewhere around the bellybutton, which sort of defeats the purpose of warm clothing. 

This is my Token Pink sweater.  I hate pink as a rule, but I bought it when I was pregnant and full of mommy-hormones.  I still like it, as unfortunately pink complements my coloring.  It’s also really soft and smells amazing when it comes out of the dryer. 

Here is a sweater that my mom gave me one year for Christmas.  Lots of people call me “Gramma” when I wear it.  Is it that nerdy?  Leaves are cool, right?  I’m cool, right?  Okay, probably not.  I don’t wear this one a lot but it’s really soft.

Here is one of my favorites.  It’s short but I made an exception because of the cool collar and sleeves.  Brown is probably my favorite color to wear.  I think it makes me feel more in tune with the earth.  ‘Cause the earth is brown, get it? 

This is a sweater I picked up at the L.L. Bean store in McLean, VA.  I love, love, love this sweater because it reminds me of one of those blankets.  There is an important blanket in my life that looks like this.  I will confess that I have never worn it in public though, because those horizontal stripes fall right at my hips and do nothing for me.  Nothing.  However, it looks great in my closet.

I wear this sweater in my office a lot when it gets cold.  I love the color, it reminds me of a tropical sea, which is strange because sweaters and tropics should not be in the same sentence or thought.    It’s a bit itchy though, so something always must be worn underneath.

I could bore you all day with my sweater collections, but I will spare you the rest.  But I will leave you with these famous sweaters:



Leave a Comment
  1. How to Get Six Pack Fast / Apr 15 2009 11:09 am

    If you want to read a reader’s feedback 🙂 , I rate this post for 4/5. Decent info, but I have to go to that damn google to find the missed parts. Thanks, anyway!

  2. Jodi / Oct 1 2008 3:20 pm

    I love that you love your sweaters…it’s comforting to read about simple pleasures when things in the big world seem so messy.

    It was a warming post(pun intended).

  3. faemom / Sep 29 2008 1:13 pm

    I have the same antiperspirant nightmares too!

  4. cherikooka / Sep 29 2008 9:24 am

    Oh girl. You know, absolutely know, that I adore you, but I am about to call “What not to Wear”.

    It wouldn’t be the first time someone threatened me with that…

  5. dobeman / Sep 29 2008 5:30 am

    TO make a long story short, I crossed the creek and trudged up the hill two Christmases ago to ask my neighbors to put their dogs inside, since it was 12:15 and they had been barking for three hours.

    They were having a Christmas party, and I, in my sweatpants and walking cane, crashed it. But what I will never forget, is the sweater the man had on…it was a classic white wool with a tacky reindeer on the front!

    Goodness. I can’t believe they aren’t just movie props!

  6. romi41 / Sep 28 2008 4:18 pm

    First of all, if I was actually dating Mark Darcy, he could wear all the reindeer sweaters he wanted 😉

    And secondly I like your brown sweater the best, and I totally dig the earth-connection! 😉

    That is a good point…he could also get away with wearing a potato sack…

  7. Karen / Sep 28 2008 7:40 am

    LOL! I was totally *not* expecting the picture of Mr. Rogers. I was scrolling down the page, doopdadoo, when BLAM! Hi, Mr. Rogers, LOL!

    He’s one of the most famous sweaters of all!

  8. steppingoverthejunk / Sep 28 2008 5:45 am

    Ha. I was scrolling down, looking at all your sweaters (I love the short brown one alot!) and totally choked, laughing, when I saw Mr Rogers and Cosby. You are too funny! They are total sweater men.

  9. teeni / Sep 27 2008 11:14 pm

    I’ve tagged you for a meme and hope you can participate.

    You bet! I will do this today or tomorrow. Thanks!

  10. teeni / Sep 27 2008 10:39 pm

    This was just a great post. I love seeing your sweater collection and it made a great post. I generally judge my sweaters by how I feel wearing them. Heck, I’m not the one that has to look at me wearing them. LOL.

  11. Greg / Sep 27 2008 11:19 am

    . . . it shrunk to Cabbage-patch size, I tried to stretch it out but alas; putting on a wool sweater after it’s been shrunk makes you look like you are wearing clothes made of Silly Putty.

    That really cracked me up. I love reading your posts. Good job of including the Fred Rodgers collection.

    No, I am not gay.


  12. msmollie / Sep 27 2008 3:25 am

    I did laugh at the Leaf Sweater, just don’t wear one with snowmen on it. Unless you already have one… then I LOVE it! Matches your eyes!

    I don’t have one yet but you may have given someone in my family a great gift idea~!

  13. bluesuit12 / Sep 26 2008 7:33 am

    Love the collection and loved how each sweater was placed with the appropriate background. I’m not a sweater person so much as I’m a hoodie person. I have a lot of hoodies and prefer the ones that go over the head as opposed to the ones you zip up. Those I wear all winter with fleece pajama pants.

    You just described my weekend outfits!

  14. talea / Sep 25 2008 7:41 pm

    Oh sweetie. I’m sorry, I luv ya, but that leaf sweater? Grandma. Most definitely. Though the sweater underneath it is cute.
    I stole a sweater from my dad in high school and it was huge and comfy and all kinds of blue, and I JUST remembered it! I loved it, the memory makes me happy, thanks for reminding me! Now I just have to try to remember what happened to it…

  15. Pammy Girl / Sep 25 2008 2:40 pm

    I like ‘sweater’ better than ‘jumper’… that doesn’t describe what exactly the clothing article is to me. But I love love love sweaters! I’m actually sad that I won’t be wearing them for the time I’m in LA. I even bought one the other day knowing full well it will sit in my closet collecting dust.

  16. fawnahareo / Sep 25 2008 9:57 am

    Hee hee! Nice sweater collection. 🙂 We have a Hudson’s Bay blanket on our bed!

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