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September 4, 2008 / Maleesha Kovnesky

I Love Candy

I have a special place in my heart for candy.  Also, I have a special place in my stomach for candy.  And thanks to advancing age and a mostly sedentary job, a special place on my hips for candy, too. 

I think that my all-time favorite candies would be either Skittles or M&Ms, due to the sortable nature of them.  I would pour all of the bits from their bags, then place them into color-coded piles.  I would determine the pile with the smallest number of candies, then eat down the other piles until all the candy piles had the same number of pieces.  Then I would begin to eat the candies one by one, in ROYGBIV order, until they were down to one piece of each color.  Finally, I would finish off the candies by eating the final colors in order of my least favorite color or flavor to my most favorite.  For example, the final Skittles would be consumed purple, green, yellow, red, orange (orange being my favorite color); M&Ms would disappear light brown, brown, yellow, orange, green) (green being my favorite M&M color, this being the time when there were no red or blue M&Ms but there was a tan M&M).  M&M’s had to be eaten by color order only because they all had the same flavor, while Skittles offered a distinct flavor and could be eaten in order of taste preference.  There, aren’t you glad you read all that?

On our long road trips to Wisconsin, my parents would fold the backseat down in the station wagon, toss my brother and I back there with some candy, and drive for 24 hours.  As long as I had books, a few packages of Hubble-Bubble gum, my diary, and ample candy to choose from, I would be happy for the entire ride.

Halloween, the religious holiday of candy, was always looked forward to by my brother and I.  We’d spend the whole evening trick-or-treating, then we would dump our piles out next to each other and barter and trade.  Since I was older, I never had any problem convincing him that I would “semi-reluctantly” offer him three…no, four orange-wrapped peanut flavored taffies for one, lonely full-sized Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, or one package of Starburst.  Can you believe I’m not a used-car saleswoman today?  But really, what communist created those godawful peanut taffies, anyway?  Those were always so gross.  Right up there with Bit-O-Honey’s, if you ask me.      

Ever since we discovered the foreign sweets section at our favorite supermarket, we have been hooked on candy from other countries.  We’ve sampled candies and cookies from Poland, Switzerland, and Great Britain so far, and overwhelmingly prefer the taste of these items over comparable American candy.  I like the Aero bar.

The main ingredient in all of the foreign sweets is always: sugar.  Not corn syrup.  Even candy from global leaders like Nestle use sugar in their candy, as long as it’s candy for the non-American markets.  Their candy tastes better, too.  It’s not as sweet and it doesn’t hurt your teeth. 

And the labels are funny, too.  Check out what the husband brought home on his last trip to the supermarket:  The Yorkie.

Now even though the warning label clearly stated “Not for Girls,” I had to try it.  I am somewhat of a rebel, after all.  And you know what?  It tasted like a Nestle candy bar, except less sweet.  Delicious!  I hope that tasting this bar does not somehow reduce my lifespan.  I couldn’t find any more information on why the Yorkie was only for dudes.  You can see that my son was very wary when I attempted to try a piece.

Speaking of candy, we recently ventured to tiny Philipsburg, Montana to visit the Sweet Palace.  Mmmm.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my dentist.

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7 Comments

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  1. Allison / Sep 13 2008 10:02 am

    Being a candy aficianado too, you had to know that I would enjoy this post…I’m not so much into skittles, and I don’t agree with your peanut taffy assessment…but I still feel a candy kinship with you 🙂

    BTW, I voted for pink M&M’s in 1994, but the blue ones won.

  2. romi41 / Sep 7 2008 7:56 pm

    Oooohh….candy-post…mmmm, mmm! I SO remember when there were tanned M&M’s, and I am SO with you on foreign candy etc 🙂 I think my favourite thing ever is a “Tiffin” Cabury’s Dairy Milk Bar from England…I don’t even know what “Tiffin” is but it’s delightful 🙂 …and now I want some effin’ candy before bed 😉

  3. crisitunity / Sep 5 2008 1:19 pm

    I remember those horrible brown-and-orange things! I actually don’t remember what they taste like, just that I felt bad throwing them away but damned if I was going to eat them. The only thing worse, to me, is banana-flavored Now & Later’s. GOD were they awful. BF actually likes Now & Later’s, the crazy freak.

    I actually stopped eating M&Ms and Skittles because I sorted them in an OCD fashion, and couldn’t eat them unless they were sorted, and that made me feel weird.

    I also love the Aero bar – tingly! – and found the Yorkie stupid, although my encounter with the Yorkie was in England five years ago. And I think Hershey’s chocolate is just terrible compared to British and European chocolate. A joke. The sugar/corn syrup divide must be why.

    Apparently, according to the link Dave posted below, they offered a pink Yorkie bar, only briefly. I think that there is something to the real sugar…the foreign bars don’t hurt my teeth, and I don’t feel sick and ready to die after eating one.

    As far as your sorting weirdness, I know what you mean. Somewhere along the line I learned to revel and enjoy it when people give me strange looks…I can only hope they are feeling stranger watching me than I feel doing whatever I am doing. Hmm. That sounds strange.

  4. bluesuit12 / Sep 5 2008 8:02 am

    Wow that’s quite labor intensive for a little candy. I usually just grab a handful and pop them in my mouth. I’m with you on the peanut butter “candy”. Totally vile. European candy is pretty good, Mexican not so much.

    If Mexican candy is anything like the cheap Mexican tequila I had, I believe you. Holy crap, that stuff could take the paint off walls with its fumes alone.

  5. Christine / Sep 4 2008 7:28 pm

    ROFL.

    You are really neurotic.

    It’s ok though. So am I. Tiny candies are sorted. Least favorite colors always get eaten first with m&m’s and flavors with Skittles, oh and always in pairs if possible. We can’t have things uneven. They don’t even taste good if they are uneven.

    …and you are calling me neurotic! You resemble that remark!

  6. Dave / Sep 4 2008 6:32 pm

    I love candy corn and butterscotch. But I’ve had some nasty butterscotch candies, too. I also like the hard cinnamon candies.

    I had to look up Yorkies. Here’s what I found: http://veethemonsoon.wordpress.com/2004/07/02/nestle-uks-yorkie-is-not-for-girls/

    OMG! I read the link. WHO KNEW IT WAS SUCH A CONTROVERSY! But I must get me some Yorkies right now. No wonder you can’t find it in America…this bar would never fly here.

  7. Carli / Sep 4 2008 6:09 pm

    I’d have to say candy corn and those little fluffy peanut things are on the bottom of the candy list…no wait…butterscotch candies (the kind ol’ man Casey used to give us) are the worst. To this day I can’t stand butterscotch.
    My favorite of candies (and I’m excluding chocolate of any form as a “candy,” as I see it as a highly nutritious supplement to most any other food item) but anyway….I think my favorite candy is that which comes in gummy format. Gummy bears, gummy life savers, gummy berries, and of course swedish fish. Oh and I like plain ol’ gum too…minus the “my”. That’s all I have to say.

    I seem to remember you always thinking that gummy berries ‘hit the spot.’

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