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July 10, 2008 / Maleesha Kovnesky

How To Find a New Mommy and Daddy

Sometimes a blogger reads the search statistics for their blog, and this usually results in a big laugh.  My blog seems to be found by the apparent hordes of people who search for:

  • hot cadillac chicks
  • extreme busts
  • how do I kill my mother in law

But today I was shocked to see that someone found my blog by typing in:

“www.howto finda new mommy&daddy.com”

Immediately my imagination runs wild.  I really, really hope that the kid (I’m projecting that it’s a kid due to how they typed it) is a spoiled brat who wants to run away because they didn’t get a Wii yet…

(Image from http://bratstopshere.com)

But my imagination has taken over, and I picture the searcher to be a hungry, neglected child who had to sneak out of their torn window screen and walk three miles to the public library for the free internet…

Kid, if it is you, and you need a new mommy and daddy, please call 911.  Like, all the time.  Maybe they will catch on after the fourth of fifth call.  I sure hope that whoever typed it in is the first version of the kid above, because then, who cares?  But as we know, you can’t just go get a new mommy and daddy.  You are stuck with the ones you get.  But don’t be discouraged as you can always “borrow” someone else’s for a while, if need be.

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10 Comments

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  1. kaylee / Jul 16 2008 9:18 pm

    Ummm, I want a New suject to often my advice on 🙂

  2. smalltownsmalltimes / Jul 14 2008 2:42 pm

    Sorry — after a long weekend with my family, that searcher was probably me.

    Some days I don’t think we are ever too old to wish for a new mommy and daddy…

  3. romi41 / Jul 13 2008 7:10 pm

    “how do I kill my mother in law”…HAHAHA…I want to meet that person so SO badly! Not because I think she’s crazy, but because I’m baffled that she can’t come up with a “kill method” on her own…seriously girl, look around, watch some movies, get creative!

    (and yes I’m assuming the entire time that it was a woman who googled that 😉 )

  4. kaylee2 / Jul 11 2008 9:00 pm

    Thanks for stopping by my blog……..I am a tough girl. you gotta be when you are fighting for your life right? 😉

  5. kaylee / Jul 10 2008 8:11 pm

    LOL omg thats weird!

  6. maleesha / Jul 10 2008 7:36 pm

    sorry ian. it’s been one of those downer days.

  7. Ian / Jul 10 2008 7:33 pm

    Oh wow…here I was all expecting another funny post from you, and instead you pull out pieces of my heart. *snifl* I hope it was the asshole who typed it, not some kid who really really needs a hug and a friend.

    Ian

  8. stepping over the junk / Jul 10 2008 4:50 pm

    if only I had the internet when I was a kid, I’d be living in Hawaii with my new family and eating fruit every day and surfing the waves….

  9. talea / Jul 10 2008 3:22 pm

    Very good post idea.
    99% chance it was some asshole kid, but 1% chance someone out there really needs help. If you’re a kid in Canada, you can call the Children’s Help Phone…..1-800-668-6868. It won’t show up on your parents phone bill.

  10. cherikooka / Jul 10 2008 1:03 pm

    Yep…I’ve been borrowed. I always seem to end up being someone’s borrowed mommy. I don’t really mind, if it’s in the best intrest of the child, but I hate being taken advantage of by the parents.

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