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May 25, 2008 / Maleesha Kovnesky

My Mother in Law is an Effing Douchebag: the saga continues

My mother in law is a total douchebag.  If you’ve read the previous recent incidents then you have a little background on the subject.  For those of you who don’t feel like reading five huge posts, I’ll sum it up for you:

  • MIL loses my son, twice, and also fails to adequately care for my infant though she was being paid to do so
  • MIL steals coffee and god knows what else
  • Whilst MIL was here, she told lots of people lies like how we weren’t feeding her, and how we wouldn’t let her watch any television, presumably to seem like a martyr and to get sympathy, because MIL is a certain breed of caterpillar that without adequate doses of sympathy, dries up in a ball on the sidewalk
  • MIL hits on my father repeatedly, declares her love for him, and calls him eight times in the space of an hour, like a psycho

Okay that’s all you need to know to catch up.  We thought we had gotten rid of her once and for all, because she finally went home to her “abusive husband” and stepchildren and never called us again.  That is, never called us until Thursday when she left a rambling message on my cell phone.  She didn’t call her own son, she called me, because she is spineless.  Anyway, the message was this:

“Hello.  This is <EVIL MIL’S NAME>.  I just wanted to let you know that my husband is OCD and we’re going to be in Bozeman tomorrow night, so we’d like to stay there and I would like to hug my grandchildren.  I just really want to hug my grandchildren, and it’s really important to me, so it would be nice if you were there so we’ll be there tomorrow night because we’re leaving really early in the morning, because of my OCD husband.”

No, I didn’t understand most of it either…I just heard the part where she was coming over tomorrow.  WTF?  And you want to bring your “abusive husband”?  And I should let you in the house why?  Hells no.  Not to mention that we already had weekend plans that didn’t include a visit from her, for crissake it seems like just yesterday she was stealing my stuff and making us miserable.  Go back to Colorado and stay there, lady.  Hell, I need more than a day’s notice for people that I actually like.

Since she left a couple weeks ago, I discovered that she didn’t leave the house key like she said she did.  So we had the locks changed on Thursday night.  Lord knows she probably tried to get in to see if I had any more coffee sitting around. 

So last night she and “abusive husband” went to get dinner in Bozeman, presumably after she discovered she couldn’t get into our house.  So what does she do but leave the restaurant and goes out into the parking lot in the rain to call my dad several times.  Don’t ask me why, but he answered the phone. 

“What did you tell my son and daughter in law to make them so mad at me?” she hollered at him.

“Nothing they couldn’t figure out on their own,” he said.

“Why won’t they return my phone calls?” she demanded.

“Cause you’re absolutely crazy,” he informed her.

So today we were out at the land and she and “abusive husband” race into our gravel driveway.  I was inside the cabin  feeding Macy so I didn’t even know she arrived.  Sure, she had been calling my cell all morning, but I didn’t pick up since I don’t speak douchebag anyway. 

“Abusive husband” was sitting in the car with “evil stepdaughter” and MILfH came stomping out. 

My dad, not one to kick anyone out, said “Hey, I’m going to go meet <ABUSIVE HUSBAND’s NAME>.”  She jumped in front of him and said “Oh no you are not.”  So of course he walked out there anyway, introduced himself, and they made some small talk about both being electricians. 

Then I guess she decided it was time to go, because they drove away, without even saying hello to their loving <snicker> daughter in law.  But before she left, she informed my dad that she was “visiting a lawyer soon to get grandparental visitation rights,” because “no one is going to keep her grandchildren away from her.” 

Except that is, for my husband and I.  We’re going to take care of that.  Ironically, no one ever said anything to her about keeping her away from her grandkids…but now that she’s threatening to get the law involved with her own family, what choice do we have?  Give them to her out of fear?  Righhht.

Sadly, grandparents (especially particularly crazy ones) don’t get visitation rights.  There’ve been a few instances in Texas and California where grandparents were granted some rights in the case of divorce or death of a parent, but I don’t think she and her douchebaggy ways qualify.  I wish she could have threatened me directly, rather than have my dad pass her nutty message my way, but I think she made her own bed in this one.  She’s made herself and her “abusive husband” look like monsters many times over…why would I let her see my kids?  Lord knows they have two other sets of normal grandparents.  I don’t feel too bad letting this one go play in her own three ring circus.

Actually she left my dear husband a nice message on his cell phone today: 

“You’re not my son anymore.”

I guess that makes them not her grandchildren.  Save your lawyer money, douchebag lady.  You’ll need it when you are old and alone, because you alienate everyone you come into contact with.

Besides, my dad saved the phone records of her repeated phone calls, and he’s got the lovely cards she sent him for days after she left.  There’s the numerous witnesses of her douchebaggery, and the fact she lost her daycare lady license back in the day. 

It won’t be too hard to prove that she’s a fruitcake.



Leave a Comment
  1. maleesha / Jun 16 2008 9:42 am

    Maybe. She knows how to do a Google search. We’re already “disowned”…and she wants to get lawyer approved visits for her grandchildren and she stalked my dad and stole coffee. I remain somewhat unconcerned as to whether or not she reads it… 🙂 Not sure. She hasn’t commented yet.

  2. wpm1955 / Jun 16 2008 2:02 am

    I’m just wondering, does your mother-in-law know about this blog????

    Madame Monet

  3. zak / Jun 9 2008 8:17 pm

    you win the crazy relative award. . . we just have professional alcoholics and chemically unstable family members. . . MIL, she takes the cake

  4. Traci / May 28 2008 8:55 pm

    Oh my GOD. You poor thing. Your MIL makes mine seem like Mother Theresa. I feel your pain!!! And I love the combination of the words MIL and douche-bag.

  5. Cherikooka / May 28 2008 2:06 pm


  6. Stacey / May 26 2008 4:47 pm

    Wow, that’s some messed up shit.

  7. maleesha / May 26 2008 6:35 am

    Yes, yes she did!

    And Ian, it’s crossed our mind.

  8. Allison / May 26 2008 5:13 am

    Didn’t she get fired once for medically stalking your step-MIL? That’s very douchebaggy too.

  9. Ian Thomas Healy / May 25 2008 9:10 pm

    Two words:

    Restraining Order.


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