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April 2, 2008 / Maleesha Kovnesky

There’s a Hole In The Bottom of My Sock…

I get more holes in my socks than anyone I know.  This could be due to either:

a) Everyone else throws their socks out when they get thin and ready to hole-ify

b) I walk funny

I can’t be sure which is the cause…of course, maybe its

c) I’m really cheap when it comes to clothes, and the 6 pack for $3.99 isn’t up to snuff

Anyway, I was invited to a mommy group last night.  This was very exciting to me, because it’s a mommy group that consists ONLY of working mothers…and coming from the land of stay-at-home snooty mothers who think you’re tragic for having to actually WORK during the day instead of taking your children to the park, and meeting for coffee klatch, and heading for the spa…well this concept was new and exciting.  But I think I blew it.

See, the mommy group was held at one of the mother’s houses, and they had just refinished the basement, and with the new carpet and whatnot we all had to take our shoes off.  For other women this is generally not a problem.  Most women seem to be able to remove their shoes and out pops a clean, trendy looking sock.  And if they were to continue removing that sock, you would probably see a precious set of toes replete with fresh polish.  Forget about calluses. 

Oh heavens. 

Out from my six year old Dansko clog came two mismatched black socks (both black, but with different patterns).  My big toe in all of it’s hangnailed, callused glory was popping out of one sock, and my scruffy, grey, I’ve-had-to-stand-too-much-in-my-short-life heel was bursting out the other.  This was totally obvious to the other moms.  I could tell, because they were all staring at my feet.  When they saw that I saw they were staring at my feet, they quickly looked away and starting chit-chatting with each other.  “Is that little Dylan?  Is he sleeping through the sock?  I mean, the night?”

Oh, why couldn’t I have foreseen this?  I’m a working mom, after all…can’t I AFFORD socks without HOLES?  Maybe scrub my heels once in a while? 

Years ago when I was commuting into Washington D.C., I had just parked the car in the lot after an hour and a half drive.  It was in the elevator that I noticed I had one brown shoe on, and one black shoe.  I had to drive ALL THE WAY HOME because I couldn’t be the crazy chick who wears different shoes.  Or so I thought. 

I must be retarded, at least in the fashion department, because it was last spring when…

One morning I got dressed for work, took the trash all the way down to the end of our very long driveway, walked all the way back to my car, got in my car and drove 25 miles to work.  There I parked in the parking garage, walked down three flights of stairs, crossed the street, went up the elevator…and then I realized my feet felt a little “off.” 

I looked down and both my shoes were black, but one had a heel.  An effing heel. 

We’re not talking about slut-heels or anything, but a height-making, chunky sort of heel that I definitely should have NOTICED while I was doing ALL THAT WALKING.  I had to bravely walk all the way back to my car, drive to Target, walk into the store (limping by now…but no shoes, no service!) and purchase a new pair of shoes.  What is wrong with me?  I guess if I can’t be bothered to check for two matching shoes, then I should stop worrying about the socks. 

Anyway, when I finally did manage to get a couple of the ladies to talk to me, I did my best to act normal and confident.  Because I am normal and confident.  Okay, perhaps just confident.  I think I will be invited back.  Maybe.

Thankfully it’s almost sandal season.


Maleesha’s foot…the next day



Leave a Comment
  1. pikespeakdenise / Apr 6 2008 5:37 am

    The last time I went to someone’s house for the first time and had to take off my shoes, I had on my fuzzy pink stripped Kohl’s socks! 🙂

    I tried pushing the sandal season a little early last week, and dang near froze my toes off!

  2. cherikooka / Apr 3 2008 3:45 pm

    Holy crap. Outside of being a t-shirt fanatic, I am also a sock-o-holic. If my socks get dingy, I throw them away. They never get the chance to get holes. My sock drawer is overflowing and I purge it about every 6 months and buy new socks. I can’t help it. Sock shopping is fun. Splurge and get the 6.99 pack.

  3. Allison / Apr 3 2008 10:39 am

    Holy Toledo, the one heel/one non-heel incident was funny. Silly details.


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