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December 26, 2007 / Maleesha Kovnesky

The Aftermath, or Malaria for Christmas

Ah, the day after Christmas.  I always have mixed feelings about this day.  On one hand, I am excited for the upcoming year.  On the other, I am sad that the tree has to come down, and that I have no more excuses to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas every night (although I guess I could use the writers’ strike as an excuse to continue).

We tucked in AJ last night.  He was very sad to have to put away his new things and go to bed.  I assured him that Santa wasn’t coming back to take the toys now that Christmas is over…he would get to play with them tomorrow, too. 

Since they are making toys with roofies these days, and I’m pretty old-fashioned, AJ didn’t get a lot of toys from Santa.  He mostly got puzzles and colored pencils and paper and things like that.  However, earlier this year he did sit on Santa’s lap and asked for only one toy: a Lightning McQueen race car.  He was the only kid in line not to cry on Santa’s lap, so what could we do as parents, other than make sure that the boy got his one wish?

AJ opened his presents yesterday, wide-eyed and full of peppermint.  He was so excited about his toy race car.  It’s one of those toys that makes noise, unfortunately.  It says a bunch of one-liners from the movie Cars when you shake it.  However, AJ loves it and it’s his Christmas present so we ignore the noise, even after the 546th time.

Now a little background: we still keep a monitor in AJs room at night.  We can’t hear what he is up to otherwise, and that kid is always up to something.  It’s been quite a while since we had to get up in the middle of the night for anything, though.

This morning at four o’clock, I shot up in bed after hearing a ripping, thundering noise.  What in the heck?  Was the furnace exploding?  Was a plane falling out of the sky?  Then the ripping noise turned into a long screeeeeeech and I heard a metallic voice say “The checkered flag is mine!”

Stupid race car.

In other exciting news, I got malaria for Christmas!  No, not the real tropical disease, but this:


It’s a stuffed malaria from Giant Microbes.  Now I can’t take credit for this find…we first discovered it from the greatest reality show ever made, Kid Nation.  Now one of the kids, the kind of kid who is going to grow up to either make great discoveries of galaxies, cure cancer, or eventually go off the deep end and shoot people from a tower, well, he collects Giant Microbes.  A clip of the show was of his mother on the phone, telling him that his microbes missed him (If that isn’t love, then what is?)  Further research resulted in the discovery of Giant Microbes.

Microbes come with an informative tag with information about the disease/malady they cause in real life, along with some of the devastating truth.  We don’t really think about malaria too much, but it kills a lot of people elsewhere, especially children.  So while my stuffed malaria may look cute and fluffy (AJ has named him ‘Wormy’) he is really representative of sinister death.  Maybe you will find a reason to purchase a Giant Microbe too.  You could send Black Death to your former boss, or that neighbor with the barking dog.  You could pick out a little somethin-something from the Venereal line(TM) for a former significant-other.  So many possibilities, and they’re about eight bucks per affliction. 



Leave a Comment
  1. pikespeakdenise / Jan 5 2008 11:14 am

    “Wormy” is hilarious! And educational. My kids watch Kid Nation over at Nana’s house.

  2. wpm1955 / Dec 28 2007 5:19 am

    This kind of reminds me of the Beanie Baby craze! I wonder if foreigners seeing this might think an idea like this could only come from America (who they all think worries too much about “germs”)!

    Madame Monet
    Writing, Painting, Music, and Wine

  3. ianthealy / Dec 26 2007 7:05 pm

    That’s the most twisted idea ever!


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