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December 12, 2007 / Maleesha Kovnesky

Elk Attack

The garage door man arrived and said that “there is substantial damage to the garage door, and it came from the outside.”  Three of the four panels are “severely damaged” and the entire door “has to be replaced.”  He managed to get the garage door shut, but we have to park outside because we can’t open it at all.  At least it’s December and snowy. 

We decided to call the sheriff to file a police report, just incase the damage might have come from a nutcase or a deranged psycho stalker.  However, the sheriff is pretty sure that the damage is the result of an elk attack.  He said “I’ve seen enough damaged houses to know if it’s a bat or a crowbar.”  He said that perhaps the elk “decided to lean against the door,” or that the damage “could be the result of head-butting.”

So there you go.  We were attacked by elk in the night.  How will I be able to sleep, knowing that the antlered perps are still out there, waiting, wandering, ready to deposit more poo, possibly attack more entrances? 

I am going to take out my revenge by eating elk all winter.  Now I have to find someone who shot an elk this fall.  I did pick up some nice venison from my friends Sharon and Rick today though…perhaps a good start at revenge is eating the perps’ cousin.


One Comment

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  1. pikespeakdenise / Dec 12 2007 5:40 pm

    Well thank goodness I don’t have a garage! 😉

That's what she said!

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