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May 8, 2007 / Maleesha Kovnesky

Good Fortune

This is my first post about my extensive fortune cookie fortune collection. 

I eat Chinese food at least once a week.  This is because I work in an office, and a tasty Chinese place is just a couple of blocks away.  A bunch of us walk down to Hunan Springs and order up some extra spicy garlic chicken on a very frequent basis.

Several months ago I expressed my frustration at the fortunes that we were receiving.  They just weren’t/aren’t real fortunes.  Now you might be thinking, “Of course they weren’t real fortunes, you idiot!  They came out of a cookie!”  That isn’t what I am talking about.  I am talking about the fortunes that have a silly philosophical sentence on them.  No one wants this.  Eaters of Chinese food want fortunes that predict whether or not you will win the lottery next Tuesday. 

Also, the philosophical fortunes do not work well with the “in the bedroom” suffix.

So I decided to start collecting fortunes (just ten or so) and my plan was to scan them in and post a nice, informative rant in this very blog.  Then I lost the cord to my scanner and that plan got placed on hold.  But I still kept collecting fortunes.  I would shove them into my wallet and when my wallet got too fat to close, I’d empty the fortunes into my desk. 

I’m still doing this.

It didn’t take long for me to amass quite a few fortunes.  Pretty soon, people would bring me their fortunes, even if I didn’t go to lunch.  It’s great.  I often return to my desk to find that someone placed a stack of fortunes on it.  My collection grows. 

Now I have thousands of fortune cookie fortunes.   What the hell am I supposed to do with these?  I was going to collect ten.  Ten.  Now I have thousands and I can’t throw them away because that would seem…wrong. 

Have you ever seen those TV magazines where they say, “Next, we’ll take you to Westchester, Illinois, where we’ll meet a man who claims to own a collection of seventeen million bottle caps…”?  Suddenly I understand how this kind of collection can come to be.

Anyway, I plan to share some of my favorite fortunes that I collect here in this blog. 

This evening’s best fortune:

A CARROT A DAY, MAY KEEP CANCER AWAY

I regret to say that it was not my fortune.  Mine said:

GOOD NEWS WILL BE BROUGHT TO YOU BY MAIL

I just want to point out that mine was an actual fortune. 

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2 Comments

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  1. elementaryteacher / Aug 6 2007 1:01 pm

    Dear Maleesha,

    I LOVED your post! I am a fellow fortune-cookie lover. Please, could you please take a look at my post today on fortune cookies, and see if you could add any fortune ideas for me in the comments section?

    http://elementaryteacher.wordpress.com/2007/08/06/my-own-fortune-cookies/

    I HOPE you WILL make some more posts on this subject!

    Best regards,
    Eileen
    Dedicated Elementary Teacher Overseas, who makes fortune cookies for her students!
    elementaryteacher.wordpress.com

  2. cherikooka / May 10 2007 5:16 am

    I have two more for you!

That's what she said!

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