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March 6, 2002 / Maleesha Kovnesky

Who are they kidding?

Down with the telephone monopolies!  Recently I switched to a cell-phone only existence.  No more vague, senseless taxes to pay – “Universal Access Tax” – Who are they kidding?  I don’t want to access the universe, I just want to call my friend in Seattle!   “Presubscribed Interexchange Carrier Charge”  – Huh?  I don’t want to presubscribe to anything.  Interexchange?  That sounds like they threw a few words together to create an official-sounding multisyllabic noun.  “State Regulatory Fee”?  Okay well that one sounds pretty valid.  “Relay Service and Communications Device Fund Surcharge”?  “Teleconnect Fund Surcharge”?  Isn’t that what I am paying for to begin with?  The ability to teleconnect??  Is this money really going into a fund? Hey, I paid for my “communications device” when I purchased my telephone.  Why do I get the feeling they are charging me seven times for the same thing, in seven different ways?  Just a note – as I type this, most of these words are failing on the auto-spellcheck.  

This also brings me to another point.  There are some really bad local phone commercials lately.  If you are local to me, then you know what I am talking about.  Well hey, Mr. Phone Company – wake up.  YOU ARE A MONOPOLY to the region.  You don’t need to use your precious profits to market your phone service to us.  We have NO CHOICE but to go to you if we opt to have a telephone in our home.  Here’s an idea…quit advertising, and give the money back to your customers.  If you do, then I will hook my phone back up.  Until then, I’m sticking with my brain tumor causing cell phone.

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